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WE ASK: Connie Tham
Connie, a Singaporean, has lived in the UK for over 20 years. Choosing to leave her home country at the height of her career has led her to varied experiences and the happy life she has today in the UK.
Truth be told: Not everyone may find happiness and success starting a new life away from home. But for this determined Singaporean lass with loads of chutzpah, Connie has navigated life’s trajectories with an incredible amount of guts, guided by her free spirit, her inner compass of being true to herself, and her passions.
Connie unreservedly shares her incredible 20-plus-year journey from the the turning point, to surmounting the numerous challenges and dark moments that inevitably came her way; to eventually finding her sense of purpose between her blissfully married life and career to fulfilling her familial duties in Singapore.
Could you share a bit about yourself?
I’m the girl next door from Ang Mo Kio, growing up in the vibrant 80s with a rebellious touch and an adventurous persona. My early years were filled with the enchanting tales of Enid Blyton, which sparked my curiosity about the world beyond my neighbourhood.
I attended a Convent school, where the strict rules often clashed with my free-spirited nature. In the classroom, I discovered my passion for English literature, diving into the works of Shakespeare and often challenging the system, which sometimes got me into a bit of trouble.
After graduating with a BA in Media Studies, I began my career as a corporate video producer. I later took on a role as an assistant TV producer for the local national broadcaster and went on to complete an MA in Mass Communication. Each step of my career and educational journey has been driven by my desire to understand the world and connect with others better.
Why do you travel?
My passion for travel began at a young age. I vividly remember my first flight at the age of 12, when my family and I visited Medan and Lake Toba in Indonesia. That unforgettable trip was my first exposure to a new culture, language, and history, and it opened my eyes to the vastness and diversity of the world. It sparked a curiosity within me and instilled a deep appreciation for the richness of human experiences.
As I grew older and began travelling independently, I realized that every journey brought a unique mix of emotions and experiences. I formed meaningful connections with people I met along the way, building relationships that added depth to my adventures.
Planning and organizing my trips boosted my confidence, and each destination expanded my understanding of the world. Through these experiences, I also discovered more about myself — what truly fulfills me and the values I hold dear.
Travelling has also become an escape, a way to step away from the pressures and harsh realities of everyday life. It allows my free spirit to explore, reminding me of the beauty, complexity, and wonder of the world. Each adventure ignites my passion anew, leaving me inspired and hungry for more exploration.
Getting started and settling down in the UK
You’ve been living in the UK for over two decades. How did you make that first step?
During my university years, I had the opportunity to study in Melbourne, Australia, where I lived for a year. That time was transformative — it allowed me to cultivate independence and fostered a sense of empowerment. While there, I made the most of my stay by exploring Australia extensively, which only deepened my passion for travel.
After completing my studies and returning to Singapore, I continued to nurture this love for exploration. Annual holidays and frequent weekend trips to nearby countries became a staple in my life, further fuelling my wanderlust. I often found myself reminiscing about my time in Australia, longing for a different lifestyle.
The conventional path in Singapore — working hard, climbing the career ladder, dating, buying a flat, and eventually settling down — began to feel confining. I craved the thrill of living abroad, seeking fresh experiences to reignite my sense of adventure.
In 2004, after four years in the workforce since graduating, I embarked on my first trip to Europe, starting in London. The experience was nothing short of magical, as if my childhood dreams had materialized. I visited the Shakespeare Theatre and his birthplace in Stratford-upon-Avon, immersing myself in his world. I also attended my first-ever West End musical, The Phantom of the Opera, and was utterly captivated by the enchanting atmosphere — it was unlike anything I had experienced back home. A brief visit to Paris further deepened my sense of wonder; I strolled through Montmartre, inspired by my love for the film Amélie.
This trip was a revelation. It opened my eyes to a world brimming with opportunities for discovery and growth, and I realized there was so much more waiting to be explored. It was as if I had stepped into a fairytale, rekindling a long-lost sense of awe and curiosity.
Around this time, I learned about the UK’s working holiday visa for Singaporeans under 30. The visa allowed a two-year stay, enabling holders to work without restrictions while immersing themselves in travel and new experiences. It felt like I had stumbled upon the perfect opportunity — it aligned perfectly with my yearning for something different.
However, the decision wasn’t straightforward. I had worked tirelessly for the past four years, earning recognition at work and positioning myself for an imminent promotion. The prospect of leaving behind the fruits of my hard work for an uncertain adventure in the UK left me at a crossroads. It was a difficult choice, but I knew I had to decide which path would truly fulfill me.
With a great job and a proposal back in Singapore, what inspired you to take that bold leap to the UK, alone?
After my visa application was approved, I found myself at a crossroads, faced with one of the biggest decisions of my life. One night, while working late in the office, I had a moment of clarity that changed everything. I imagined myself, 20 years later, sitting in the same office, doing the same work at a more senior level. That vision struck me like a lightning bolt — it was the moment of truth.
I realized that if I stayed, I would be choosing comfort and familiarity, but I would also be denying myself the chance to explore what else life could offer. I needed to break free, to step outside the predictable path and challenge myself to grow.
The question I asked myself was simple: What do I really have to lose?
Yes, it was a job I loved, but the potential rewards — new experiences, personal growth, and a broader perspective on life — far outweighed the risk.
That moment filled me with a mix of nerves and excitement, sending butterflies to my stomach. It was the spark I needed to take the leap and trust that this bold decision would lead to something greater. From that point on, I knew I was ready to embrace the unknown and embark on a journey that would transform my life.
Familial ties are always a tough nut to crack. How did you address any concerns or disapprovals from loved ones?
Once I had made up my mind, the next challenge was convincing my dad. My dad has always been my rock — wise, supportive, and the person I turn to for advice on life’s big decisions. But I also knew he had his own ideas about the life I should lead, and I worried that this bold move wouldn’t align with his vision for me.
It took me two weeks to muster the courage and figure out how to tell him. There was no easy way. I feared he would see this as another impulsive decision driven by my restless nature. After all, I had worked so hard to reach where I was, and from his perspective, throwing it all away might have seemed like a waste.
That night, I sat him down and braced myself for the worst. I fully expected a lecture about how immature, insensible, and short-sighted I was. I imagined the conversation ending with me storming off in tears, frustrated and defeated, as I had in the past when I didn’t get my way.
But I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Instead, our conversation became one of the most honest and heartfelt dialogues I’ve ever had with my dad. He listened intently as I explained my plans, and rather than criticize or dismiss my dreams, he asked thoughtful questions. He wanted to be sure I had thought it through and that this was something I genuinely wanted. Most importantly, he wanted to know that it would make me happy.
Together, we weighed the risks and rewards. We both agreed that while I might lose a good job, the life experience and personal growth I would gain from this adventure would be invaluable. He reassured me that I could always find another job, but opportunities like this were rare and worth seizing.
With his support, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. It was a moment of clarity and validation, and I knew I was making the right decision. A week later, with a full heart and newfound confidence, I handed in my resignation, ready to embark on this transformative journey.
Culture shock and building a new life
What were the biggest culture shocks when you first arrived? How did you adjust?
Among the cultural differences I encountered, the one that surprised me the most was the number of highly-educated people willing to work minimum-wage jobs in bars or coffee shops while searching for their first career opportunity.
Coming from Singapore, where most graduates immediately step into well-paying roles, this was an entirely new perspective. I came to realize that many young people in the UK move out of their parents’ homes after university, embracing independence even if it means taking on lower-paying jobs to support themselves.
It was a wake-up call for me — a moment when I saw how sheltered my life had been. But it also gave me the chance to celebrate my own journey towards true independence, even if it came a bit later at 30.
As I settled in and widened my circle of friends, I noticed how much less judgemental people were compared to what I’d experienced back home. No one seemed to care whether you worked in a coffee shop or a high-powered corporate job. People socialized freely, making it easy to strike up conversations and form connections.
This openness was incredibly reassuring, especially during my first two months in the UK when I was unemployed but eager to build my network.
I also quickly picked up on British politeness — how often people say “please” and “thank you” in daily interactions. At first, I had to consciously remind myself to use these expressions in places like restaurants, bars, and supermarkets. Over time, it became second nature, and now it’s simply part of my everyday language.
Another big adjustment was the unpredictable British weather. I learned the hard way after several outings that started with sunny skies but ended in chilly breezes once the sun set. I now never leave the house without a cardigan, no matter how warm the day begins!
Food culture was another shift. In Singapore, dining out is often cheaper and more accessible thanks to the abundance of hawker centres and street food. In London, dining out feels more like a special treat, as it’s often more expensive. Many people here cook at home regularly, preparing meals quickly with fresh ingredients from the supermarket.
Inspired by this, I began experimenting in the kitchen and gradually improved my cooking skills — a necessity that eventually turned into a rewarding part of my daily life.
The British are sometimes known to have a stiff upper lip with a unique sense of humour. Is that true? How did you crack the social code?
The phrase “stiff upper lip” is probably more fitting for the older generation of British people rather than the younger population today. However, one thing that remains constant across generations is the Brits’ unique sense of humour, which I find both witty and amusing. I admire their ability to deliver subtle, clever jokes with such a straight face.
My husband, in particular, embodies this playful British humour. He’s a natural comedian who loves cracking jokes, effortlessly lightening the mood during our social outings. Thanks to him, I’ve come to enjoy and appreciate this distinctive humour even more — it has a way of bringing people together and creating an easy, enjoyable atmosphere.
Cracking the social code required a blend of observation and adaptation. I learned that small talk is a crucial part of British social interaction. Whether it’s a quick chat about the weather or a light-hearted comment about a shared experience, these seemingly trivial exchanges build rapport and open the door to deeper connections.
From the get-go, did you already plan to stay permanently after your one-year Youth Mobility Scheme visa was up, or did that decision come later?
The decision to stay permanently in the UK came much later, after I had spent over 18 months there. My Youth Mobility Scheme visa allowed me to work and travel in the UK for up to two years, and after my first year, I was offered a commercial producing role that took me to Shanghai for six months. While I enjoyed the expatriate lifestyle in China, I quickly realized that the cultural vibe in Asia wasn’t what I truly wanted.
After my stint in Shanghai, I was fortunate to return to the UK for another six months. During this time, I continued to explore Europe and get to know the UK even more. When my visa finally expired and I returned to Singapore, I fell back into the routine of my old job in television. That’s when I began to realize just how much I missed my life in the UK — the weather, the work culture, the city’s energy, and the friends I had made.
There was an undeniable feeling of freedom and empowerment that came from living in the UK, a place that felt familiar but still full of new experiences. It became clear to me that I wasn’t ready to leave, and that’s when I made a vow to find a way to return.
How did you establish your career in the UK? Was it challenging to land that first job, and how did you overcome those hurdles?
When I first arrived in the UK in 2005, finding a job was a real struggle. I sent out countless CVs, attended numerous interviews, and faced repeated rejections. The feedback was always the same — I didn’t have local work experience. Despite my qualifications and experience, employers were hesitant to offer me a job without that local background. It left me feeling discouraged and uncertain about my prospects.
After about two months or so of job hunting, I finally received an offer as an assistant producer for a live TV shopping channel. I was ecstatic — it was my foot in the door, and it was exactly the kind of role I had been doing back in Singapore, but now in my dream country, the UK. However, there was a catch: the job wasn’t in London, but in Grantham, a small town in Lincolnshire. The commute was going to be a real challenge.
Ultimately, I decided to rent a room near the studio. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but it allowed me to make the most of this opportunity and start building my career in the UK.
Can you share your top three challenges from your first five years in the UK? What motivated you to keep going?
The first five years in the UK were filled with challenges, but they also became opportunities for growth. My top three challenges were: securing a decent job, finding a good house share with the right housemates, and making lasting, meaningful friendships in a city like London.
1. Finding a stable job
The job market in the UK’s media industry was more volatile, demanding, and, at times, discouraging. I struggled to find a stable job that I was passionate about. The first job I had, as an assistant producer for a shopping channel, lasted only three months. Half of the team was made redundant after we failed to hit sales targets, and the remaining team had to take on additional roles.
It was my first redundancy experience which was a bitter pill to swallow but the channel ultimately shut down less than a year after its launch. After that, I moved between various jobs — working as a vision mixer for a TV game show channel, a video producer based in Shanghai, a kitchen crew member in a fast-food chain, a sales executive for a broadcast graphics company, and a production assistant on a live horse racing channel.
While these roles were far from what I had envisioned for my career, I always reminded myself: “When a door closes, a window opens.”
These experiences kept me going and taught me that life outside of my comfort zone, like moving from Singapore, would bring growth that I could never have gained otherwise.
2. Finding a suitable house share
Finding the right place to live in London, especially within my budget, was a major challenge. It’s common practice in London to have housemates viewing and meeting potential new tenants before they decide whether to let a room. It often felt more like an interview than a casual chat, and I struggled to find a house share where the people felt like I was a good fit.
In the end, I learned to adjust my expectations, reminding myself that having a clean room and respectful housemates was more important than becoming best friends with everyone. I eventually found myself living as a lodger with different landlords, which turned out to be quite an experience. Over time, I became friends with other lodgers in the same house, proving that sometimes things work out better than you expect.
3. Building lasting friendships
Making friends in London was also a challenge, especially because many people in the city are here for a short time. Many Europeans come to London for work opportunities or to experience life abroad, and after a few years, they often return home. This made it difficult to build long-lasting friendships.
I’ve met many people over the years, but some of those friendships faded when they left the country. However, I’ve also been lucky to form lasting bonds with a few close friends, and I’ve learned that building deep friendships takes time, effort, and mutual understanding. These relationships are precious and will last a lifetime.
Ultimately, these challenges shaped my experience in the UK. They taught me to adapt, remain persistent, and appreciate the relationships and opportunities that come my way.
Were there any dark moments when you thought of going home to Singapore?
Yes, there were a few dark moments, mostly related to work, that made me question my decision to stay. One of the most memorable times was when I worked at Pret, a fast food chain. They had a strict performance policy, and I struggled to meet their sandwich production targets. After a week of not hitting the numbers, I was called into the office and reprimanded.
I felt embarrassed and frustrated. I had never worked in a kitchen before, and I knew it wasn’t a long-term career for me. The idea of staying in that job long-term made me feel defeated, and for the first time, I seriously considered packing up and heading back to Singapore.
The second dark moment came during a job interview at ITV News. I had made it to the final round for a role, and although I didn’t get the job, they offered me some freelance shifts after training. Unfortunately, my trainer, a freelancer herself, gave me harsh and discouraging feedback after my first shift, and I was never asked back. I was crushed. I couldn’t help but think, “This would never have happened in Singapore.”
I became really down and spent two weeks questioning my future here. During that time, my husband made a promise to me: if I ever felt like I wanted to leave and go back to Singapore, he would come with me. That meant a lot and helped me get through those tough moments.
Despite these setbacks, I knew deep down that these challenges were part of the journey, and I kept going because I believed things would improve in time.
Social network and staying connected
How do you stay in touch with family and friends in Singapore especially with the different time zones and long distance?
When I first moved to the UK, staying connected with my family in Singapore was quite a challenge. I relied on international calling cards, which I’d pick up from Chinatown, to make biweekly calls home. The conversations were often short and to the point — my dad, always pragmatic, would ask about my job search, while my mum would remind me to bundle up if the weather turned cold.
It wasn’t that they didn’t care, but my family wasn’t particularly expressive, so I would often fill the silences with updates about my travels or daily life in the UK. With the 8-hour time difference, I tried to schedule these calls in the mornings, usually on Sundays when my mum had a rare day off.
Staying in touch with friends was a bit easier, as I would call them whenever I felt like chatting. But it wasn’t until I joined Facebook in 2007 that things really changed. Suddenly, the distance didn’t seem as vast anymore. I could send messages, share updates, and keep up with friends without worrying about timing. It felt like a whole new world of connection opened up, and keeping in touch with people from home became so much more effortless. With the advent of social media, I could share moments, ask for advice, or simply chat, all without having to schedule around time zones.
Have you ever considered setting up a home base in Singapore now to be closer to your family?
Yes, my husband and I have discussed this a lot in the last five years, especially now that my parents are getting older. The idea of being closer to them and spending more time together before it’s too late is something I truly want.
However, we also have to consider my husband’s side of the family. His father passed away three years ago, and his mother is on her own now. If we were to move back to Singapore, she would be left alone, and that would be her worst fear.
On top of that, there’s a practical challenge: the work opportunities for my husband in Asia are quite limited, especially in his field. This makes it difficult for us to make a move right now. For the time being, we’ve decided to stay where we are, but we are always open to the idea of relocating to Singapore if the right opportunity presents itself. Ultimately, our decision depends on both of our careers, and we’re willing to adjust if the right circumstances come along.
Feeling at home in two cultures
How have both the UK and Singapore changed since you first arrived, and how does that impact your sense of identity?
The changes in both the UK and Singapore over the years have been significant, and in some ways, they’ve also mirrored shifts in my own perceptions of life. The culture, social norms, and government policies in both countries shape the vibe of a place, and those have definitely evolved, especially after the pandemic.
In London, where I first arrived in 2005, the population has grown, and with it, the city’s challenges. Streets seem dirtier, and the overall sense of safety has diminished. Stories of crime — stabbings, looting, theft — are now much more frequent.
I can personally attest to this after our car was stolen in 2020, a crime that was caught on CCTV but ultimately dismissed by the police without any effort to investigate. It felt like the UK, once seen as a safe and developed country, had become increasingly permissive of criminal activity, possibly due to the pressure of overpopulation and overstretched law enforcement.
The UK has undoubtedly changed, and I’ve become more vigilant in response to that shift, becoming increasingly reserved and cautious in my daily life.
In contrast, Singapore has matured in different ways. The younger generation is more educated, more globally connected, and more informed, thanks to the rise of online media.
Work-life balance has become a greater priority, as evidenced by my brother’s shift after COVID. He used to work long hours to provide for his family, but now, he ensures he spends more time at home, valuing family life over career pressures.
This shift in priorities among my close circle reflects a broader trend in Singapore, where people are finding more balance and becoming more well-rounded and well-travelled.
As for my personal identity, I’ve always been an adventurous, outgoing Singaporean, eager for new experiences. The UK has taught me to be more cautious, more aware of my surroundings. It’s not the same country I first moved to. Over the years, I’ve found myself becoming more reserved, not just in my actions but in my mindset as well. I moved out of London to buy a house in a more affordable area, and many of my friends have returned to their home countries, especially after the pandemic, as people began to reassess their priorities and the value of being near family.
Every year when I visit Singapore, I feel a deeper connection to my roots. The sights, sounds, and tastes of home, like family gatherings over mahjong, dim sum lunches, late-night suppers, and the familiarity of the local food, all call to me. It’s a strong reminder of where I come from and the life I once knew.
While my life in the UK has been an exciting chapter, there’s always a part of me that longs for Singapore. As the saying goes, “You can take the girl out of Singapore, but you can’t take Singapore out of the girl.”
What aspects of UK and Singaporean culture/heritage do you enjoy the most, and are there any traditions from Singapore you still abide by in the UK?
I thoroughly enjoy both Christmas and Lunar New Year, the two major holidays that hold special significance for me each year. Over the years, these celebrations have taken on different meanings, shaped by the cultural environments I’ve lived in.
Before moving to the UK, Christmas in Singapore was all about the festive lights along Orchard Road, exchanging gifts with colleagues and friends, and enjoying a hearty turkey meal followed by drinks.
My first Christmas in the UK was an eye-opener, as I discovered that the celebration here was much quieter and more family-oriented. Shops shut down, and families huddled together in the warmth of their homes, exchanging gifts only among close family members.
Boxing Day, too, was an entirely new tradition for me, with shopping sprees and sporting events taking centrestage. I also learned that in the UK, many children still believe in the magic of Santa, which added a nostalgic charm to the festive atmosphere.
Lunar New Year has always been a big celebration in my family, and even after moving to the UK, I make an effort to return home for the annual family reunion. There’s something deeply comforting and joyful about being surrounded by loved ones, feasting on delicious food, and continuing the traditions of my heritage.
When I can’t make it back to Singapore, I try to recreate the spirit of the holiday here. My husband and I will often head out for a Chinese meal. In recent years, I’ve started decorating our home with traditional Lunar New Year decor, bringing a bit of that festive atmosphere to our lives in the UK.
Both cultures have enriched my life, and I’ve found ways to blend them together, holding onto the traditions that mean the most to me while embracing the new experiences that come with living in the UK.
What was the moment you realised you truly feel at home in the UK?
I truly feel at home in the UK now, not just because of the country itself, but because I am deeply rooted here with my husband and our beloved pets. We are a family of five, including our two cats, Yoda and Obi-Wan, and our sheepadoodle dog, Kylo.
I feel incredibly blessed to have my husband by my side; he’s not just my partner, but also my best friend, my sounding board, and my greatest support in everything I do. I’m equally fortunate that our animals all get along so well, as they mean the world to me.
Yoda is my lap cat who loves to curl up with me every night, and Kylo, our “Velcro” dog, is just as affectionate, always close by. Obi-Wan, our adventurous ragdoll, is more independent and loves to explore outdoors, but he’s also full of personality and humour. The moment I return home from any trip and see all of them cuddled up with us on the bed, I feel a deep sense of belonging. It’s no longer about the location — home, for me, is where my family is.
Personal growth and identity
Are there achievements or opportunities you feel wouldn’t have happened if you’d stayed in Singapore?
If I had stayed in Singapore, my life would have been very different. I wouldn’t have had the chance to meet my now husband, let alone build the incredible life we have together. There are also so many unique work experiences I would have missed out on. From making sandwiches in a fast-paced kitchen to working in TV production, project management for property developments (including houses, schools, and even a pier!), to being an operations manager for an exhibition organization — I’ve had a range of roles that have challenged and expanded my skills.
In Singapore, I might have stayed in my comfort zone as a TV producer at Mediacorp, possibly still wondering about the next step in my career. The opportunities I’ve had in the UK have pushed me to grow in ways I never could have imagined, and I can’t help but think that staying in Singapore would have meant missing out on so much.
Has your idea of ‘home’ changed? Do you see yourself more as Singaporean or British?
My idea of ‘home’ has definitely evolved over time. It’s now a mix of the UK and Singapore, a hybrid of the two places I hold dear. I imagine home as a spacious house near a park, large enough for our pets, yet still within reasonable distance to the city. After living in the UK for so long, my sense of distance has changed. What once felt like a long journey from the East to the West in Singapore now feels like just a short hop to me.
I enjoy the space and quiet of our home in the UK, but I also miss the convenience of everything being so close in Singapore. I still consider myself more Singaporean than British, even though I live in the UK. My love for Singaporean food and my ongoing interest in Asian TV shows and Chinese dramas remain strong parts of my identity.
Looking back, is there anything you wish you’d done differently during your journey?
Looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing. Every decision I’ve made has led me to where I am today, and I’m truly grateful for the experiences I’ve had. There’s nothing I regret, and even if I had the chance to go back, I’d likely make the same choices. I feel fortunate for how things have unfolded, and I’m content with my journey.
Reflections and advice
If you could speak to your younger self, what advice would you give for starting life in the UK?
If I could speak to my younger self, I’d say: “Be more proactive, don’t hesitate to network, and take every opportunity to meet new people who could support your career.”
When I first moved to the UK, I stuck to a small circle of friends and didn’t reach out enough. Looking back, I realize I could have benefitted from being bolder and more open about my situation, even when I was jobless. There was no shame in it — everyone faces challenges when they start afresh in a new country. If I’d been more confident and embraced those early struggles, I might have accelerated my career growth and built a stronger support system sooner.
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What tips would you give others considering a similar move abroad?
If you’re considering a move abroad, here are some tips based on my experience:
1. Be prepared for the ups and downs
Moving to a new country is an exciting adventure, but it comes with its challenges. There will be moments of frustration and homesickness, especially when adjusting to a different culture, work environment, and social norms. Stay patient and remind yourself that it’s all part of the journey.
2. Network, network, network
Building connections is key. Whether it’s for professional opportunities or social support, try to meet as many people as you can. Join groups, attend events, and be open to new relationships. Networking can help you find your footing much faster.
3. Learn to adapt
Embrace the differences, even the small ones, in daily life. Whether it’s the food, the weather, or the way people interact, adapting to new cultural norms will help you feel more at home. Also, don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone — try new things, explore different areas, and take part in local customs.
4. Be ready to embrace change
Your life and identity will evolve in a new environment. Be open to growth, new experiences, and even change in yourself. Moving abroad can offer opportunities you never imagined, both personally and professionally.
5. Don’t rush to make decisions
When you first arrive, take your time to assess your options and figure out what feels right for you — whether that’s in terms of work, housing, or long-term plans. Moving abroad isn’t a race; it’s a new chapter, and it’s okay to take things slow.
Which aspect of your personality helped or encumbered you?
My outgoing personality has certainly been a key asset in my journey abroad. It helped me connect with new people, make friends, and find a supportive network. Moving to a new country can be isolating at times, but my ability to socialize and engage with others helped me stay positive and grounded, even during the tough job-search periods. The friendships I built along the way, from colleagues to housemates, provided me with much-needed emotional support and often lifted my spirits when I felt down or discouraged.
However, on the flip side, my more modest and humble approach, influenced by my Asian upbringing, has sometimes been a challenge in a more individualistic and assertive culture like the UK.
Growing up in Singapore, I was taught to value humility and conformity, which meant I didn’t always put myself forward or self-promote as aggressively as others. In many work environments, especially in competitive industries, this has sometimes been perceived as a lack of motivation or self-confidence.
I’ve had feedback in the past that I didn’t sell myself enough, which could be an obstacle in career advancement or securing new opportunities. Learning to balance humility with assertiveness has been one of the key areas for personal growth over the years.
Future vision
You experienced a near-death experience in Spain two years ago in which you contracted myocarditis and was admitted to the ICU for 9 days. How has that shaped your perspective moving forward?
That near-death experience in Spain was a wake-up call, though not in the dramatic way people might imagine. It didn’t suddenly make me feel like I had to change everything overnight, but it did reaffirm something I’ve always believed: life is short, and you need to live it fully.
The “YOLO” mindset, which I had always embraced, became even more important after I nearly lost my life. But what changed more than anything was the way I viewed my priorities.
What I realized most during that time, though, was the importance of showing more love and appreciation for the people who matter most. In my carefree pursuit of personal freedom, I had inadvertently neglected to express how much I care for my husband.
When I was in the ICU and saw how worried he was, constantly fussing over me, I felt a wave of sadness. If I had passed away, I would have left him to grieve alone. That moment shifted my perspective on priorities.
My work life, which once dominated my time and energy, has now taken a back seat. I now recognize that the most important thing is the people I love — especially my husband. It’s a lesson that’s reshaped how I approach my relationships and how I spend my time, ensuring I give more attention to the ones who truly matter.
As you approach a new life chapter at 50, what are your hopes and plans for the future?
As I approach my 50s, I’m entering a new phase of life with a renewed sense of purpose and appreciation for what I have. Over the past years, I’ve slowed down on travelling to focus on building a life with my husband — setting up a home outside London, saving for the future, and getting through the unpredictable challenges that came our way, like the pandemic. But now, as things settle down and we’re in a more stable place financially, I feel ready to embrace life’s adventures again.
Travel has always been a passion of mine, and I’m looking forward to visiting new, more remote destinations — places that aren’t as easily accessible but have always intrigued me. While I still want to be mindful of our savings, I’m willing to spend a bit more on experiences that will leave lasting memories. We’ve treated ourselves with a few luxuries, like our Ferrari, and we’re opting for business class when we travel — things I may have put off before but now see as part of enjoying life to its fullest.
At this stage, I’m not focused on future achievements or accumulating wealth. What matters most to me now is making the most of the time I have, cherishing the moments with the people who matter, and creating unforgettable experiences.
Life is too short, and I want to make sure I truly appreciate what I have while I can.
This next chapter is about savouring the present and looking forward to whatever comes next with gratitude and excitement.
You are the embodiment of living la vida loca. Any tips on living life to the fullest every single day?
I wouldn’t say I’m the embodiment of living la vida loca, but rather someone who has always strived to live authentically and pursue what feels right for me without the fear of regret.
My philosophy is simple: live for what makes you happy. That’s the key to living life to the fullest.
The trick is to figure out what really matters to you. For some, it’s family, and they devote themselves to making sure they care for and nurture those relationships. For others, it’s about achieving career success and financial security. And for people like me, it’s about embracing freedom — following passions, exploring new experiences, and finding joy in the little things.
Living life to the fullest doesn’t mean being reckless or impulsive all the time — it’s about being in tune with yourself and making conscious decisions that bring happiness.
It’s about doing what feels right and having no regrets, regardless of what path you choose.
So, my advice would be: know what makes you feel alive, and follow that without fear of judgement. Every step you take towards your true desires is a step towards a life well-lived.
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