Wander
Impact
Death Wobble wrestled me down.
I lost –
lay motionless.
Curious onlookers gathered
Looking down at me.
Pastel sky, pillowy clouds –
So fluffy, I could bounce.
Hospital
A flurry of ambulance sirens –
All a blur.
Stripped – torn pants, shredded jacket.
Right foot, unmovable,
Wounds seep through fabric –
Like leaking oil from a faulty engine –
A bright red.
I lay defenceless in hospital garb.
Thighs gripping the tank,
Grind of the tarmac,
The burring of the machine.
The whirring of the wind
caressing my face
Tales of the past.
Recovery
The agony that followed,
The stinging pain,
Sharp, jabbing ache.
Numbness consumes me,
Counting sheep in vain.
The nights are long.
May I visit Dreamland, please?
So careless!
Look what you have done!
Why is this happening to me?
Meditation. Binaural beats.
My only bed partners now.
Will I ever recover?
Stranded in bed,
Wrapped in a duvet void of comfort,
I chant myself to sleep,
I am an incredible healing machine!
Fantasizing the hum of the throttle,
The warmth of the engine between my thighs,
Willing my mind to believe what my body does not.
Three months on,
the bent aluminium,
knocked back into shape,
Gloats at me.
The Beast gleams –
Smug and taunting.
Still not riding?
Each day, on repeat.
The Beast lay waiting. And so did I.
Torn between longing and apprehension.
Freedom beckons –
But Dread echoes louder, unrelenting.
There’s too much at stake.
My two-wheeled dream,
Dreams, packed full,
Bursting at the seams –
I can’t –
Give it up, just like that.
Rest, heal, recuperate.
No one can help you.
You’re on your own now.
Like a seed to bud to flower to fruit,
From immobility to a limp.
A step here,
and a step there.
Five steps turn to 5,000 steps.
Slowly but surely.
First Throttle
Bracing myself,
I take the seat.
Dreams on hold have an expiration date.
With great trepidation,
A slight throttle on the right handlebar.
Just a little
and the machine vroomed its way forward.
Too fast.
I’m scared.
Face the fear.
Easy for them to say.
Terror seizes me.
I can’t do this – I’ll fall again!
Strapped by an unknown trepidation
that has never gripped me before.
Inch by inch,
The motorbike sputtered,
But before it could take off,
I halted.
Unable to continue,
My knuckle-white grip, frozen.
I can’t.
It’s just a right turn,
You’ve done it before –
And you can do it again.
Self-doubt, hesitation, and anxiety
gripped me,
I can’t.
Tears clouded my vision.
Hibernation
Another week passed,
And another week.
I miss –
The pulsating engine beneath me,
The call of the wind.
The Beast hibernates.
It’s winter for her.
Winter season for me too.
The Return
Walking now,
Limping no more.
Living with a pain that beats to a tune of its own,
A constant reminder of
The fateful accident.
Speed intensifies – a jerk.
Tremor, terror, tilt.
A moment’s lapse –
Death Wobble smirked, victorious.
Face on tarmac.
Didn’t even know what hit me.
It’s time.
Face the fear.
Hands on handlebar,
Legs poised,
Look ahead.
You sure?
Yes, thank you for your concern.
Baby steps.
First, a throttle.
Stop and move off again.
Good.
Now turn,
Legs ready to break any fall.
It’s slow, don’t worry, you can do it.
I leaned,
I remained upright.
The Earth continues to spin.
I did it –
All on my own,
Once again.
It’s true, after all,
The best way to conquer fear
Is to look it in the eye –
Again, and again.
There’s nothing stopping you
But yourself.
Face the fear.
Breathe in,
Breathe out.
The faint scent of rubber fills my nostrils –
A happy memory springs back to life.
Two legs flanking the Beast –
It purrs.
I’m back. I am back.
Read the inspiration of this poem, a real-life accident that happened in Malaysia during our motorbike road trips!
Motorcycle accident: A cautionary tale and essential safety tips for bikers
Our Poetry Footprints – Sometimes a chanced encounter, a scene, a remark during our travels can spark our creative juices or send us down a rabbit-hole of artistic pursuits. Because travels may not necessarily be merely a physical act of visiting a destination, it also has the power to evoke within us the stirrings of emotions so strong we want to leave other footprints such as this.
